I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
