Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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