Will you blow on my dice?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
