Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I can text with my tongue
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
