I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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