Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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