If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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