Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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