the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
