i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
