Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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