Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Panties = found
Randomize
