I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
