she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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