Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
How's work?
Spinning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
