fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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