never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
