Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
