I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am naked and annoyed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
