Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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