STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
