Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I FOUND THE LEGS
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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