i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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