are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
