please come you make the beer taste better
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
