I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
