i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
