Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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