but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
