did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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