The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
