just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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