you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
