obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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