You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
