Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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