I'm drive I can fine osifer
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
