He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
