i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
