we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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