So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
