Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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