Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How does one acquire holy water?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
