how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
