what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
