He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
