that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
