Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
