Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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