If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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