you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
