guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
