He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
