Cold hands, warm shart.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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