We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
