you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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