I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
