I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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