you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
